Hope is Here

The fresh breeze brushes against my arm as I type an inspirational story about how I have chosen to change the direction of my life. The students taking summer session at the University pass by as they look down at the ground or their phones. Some talking on the phone and others pacing quickly to proceed with their days. I'm sitting at my absolutely favorite tree, where I wrote my first entry in the diary my brother gave me. I always feel immensely inspired at this spot because it gives me more than just comfort but hope. Its an honor and a blessing to be sitting at a University with a Mac laptop and the ability to write correctly. I have had the chance to get an education and a grandmother who paid for me to get a higher education. Sitting here is more than just an action, it's already a memory engraved in my heart forever. 

Today is no special day except that I have finally come to my senses that I would love to be successful. Instead of just "wanting" to be successful, I am doing everything in my power to "be" successful. I have siblings, cousins, parents, and more that have supported me through this journey only to help me succeed. The unfortunate thing is that I did not take any of that for my first year of college. Many events happened the first months of college and they truly affected me in various ways. I started to give up not only on school but myself as well. I saw no future no matter how much I pushed myself. The more I would try to drown the pain and sorrow, the more they became a burden to my everyday life. I wasn't entirely myself from the months of November to about March. Even in the second semester I had problems focusing on what was important. I was too busy looking at all the things that could possibly distract me. I used every excuse to fail. Every problem became another problem and so on and so forth. I was a legitimate failure for too long. I dont want to keep blaming the events of my life for not succeeding. I am starting to recognize that life has only begun and those 5 to 6 months were only training. I got through them but I barely made it, and I dont ever want to reach rock bottom again. 

These past 2 months have been an epiphany for this path I continue to walk on. I have gained true strength physically, emotionally, and mentally. I have moved out of my house and moved in with a roommate where I have learned true responsibility. I am currently enrolled in a summer session where I also have learned how to focus and the importance of school. Only 4 days into the class and I'm ready to write the paper we are assigned, due at the end of the month. It was like my brain completely shifted in ways I cannot truly explain. I became an actual independent and started to believe in myself. I am starting to see that I can do this no matter what hardships are thrown at me. I am ready to not take on the world but be a part of a revolution. My own little revolution. I will become someone. I will live for the moments but work for the future. I will not be a hero but a legend. I will fail, but only to be successful in the end.