Thursday, April 4, 2013

3 Days Grace

The last 3 days have been quite eventful. More eventful than in the month of March. On Monday I went to a Sleeping With Sirens concert, and I'm sure a lot of you have no idea who they are. Well theyre one of my favorite bands and they happened to be my girlfriend's favorite band. She listened to them daily and I really got into them,since she had them on, not kidding, all the time! They're lyrics were extremely lovey dovey for a punk rock group but theyre actually really great. If you have the chance you should check them out. Anyway, I got to see them play a couple acoustic songs and we got to meet them. They were pretty cool and I got the lead singer to sign my arm right by the tattoo I dedicated to her.
Once the concert started it was great to listen to them again. Even though I had seen them twice already, it was still a great concert. They played "Iris" the cover they did by the Goo Goo Dolls. That song really hit me hard. I began to listen to it a lot after she passed away, it was as she was talking to me through the song. I didnt cry but all I could do was keep my eyes open to hold back the tears. They later got into their more punk rock songs and the sad feeling went away. But then they played "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" and thats when I couldnt really control what I was feeling. I sang at the top of my lungs and I was sure my voice box would rip open through my neck. My heart was beating louder than hell and it may have been louder than the music itself. When it got to "your forever is all that I need" I looked up and I felt her presence. I remembered all the amazing moments we once had. From the first time we listened to the song to the last time I ever saw her. All I could do was smile and just keep singing. I knew she was there, I felt her in that moment like I never have before. It was like she was there, standing next to me, giving me a kiss on the cheek for the last time. After the concert I went home and cried. Of course, because I had never felt so close to someone who had already passed away. But in that moment I realized that I needed to let her go. I needed to free her spirit so she can rest in peace, once and for all. Lingering onto her will not give her any peace nor will it give me any. The memories and the love will always be there, but hoping and praying that she'll send me strength wont get me anywhere. I need to find my own strength and learn how to not rely on her to send me good vibes. So as of that day, I will be moving. I dont really know how long itll be until I break down, or if I'll ever break down like that again. All I know is that I need to close that chapter in my life so I can open and start the next one. I'll always love you Adri, always, but you and I both know that I need to move on so I can finally be happy again.
Tuesday was just another Tuesday. I slept all day long since the night before I got home late and the concert was pretty rowdy. So my body was sore and I was tired. I just wanted to lay there all day long and not do a thing. Which I did for maybe half the day but then I got up and went on with my life It was time to go to math class and I did then did some homework. As usual I went and did my daily gym trip and I was walking out to my car I noticed my window was cracked.. again! It looked like someone had thrown a rock and failed to break the whole window. It was shattered and for once I was calm went back in there and filed a report. I got back in my car, called my best friend to tell her about it and moved on with my life. As I was driving the pieces of glass were flying off. Very dangerous but I made it home with just a couple cuts. I didnt cry surprisingly and just went to bed and figured it all out the next day. Nothing got stolen, and they didnt actually break into the car. It could have been much worse and thats why I didnt let it get to me. I dont understand why things like that happen to me, but its life and I wont let things like that pull me down.
The next day which was Wednesday I had another concert to go to. Pierce the Veil. They're also like Sleeping with Sirens, a punk rock group that a lot of people actually know. I went to school did all my things and finally went to the concert with my best friend Elena. The concert was absolutely insane! I could not believe how many people were there. I didnt even know Reno had that many people who like Pierce the Veil. I guess theyre a lot more popular than I expected. So as we walked in there were already tons of people crowding around the stage. It was extremely stuffy and it smelled pretty bad. That wasnt even the worst because we were on the outside of the crowd. We decided to make our way through to the front of the stage to get a better look at the bands. The closer you got to the stage the smellier, the more sweat you came in contact with, the more people rubbed up on every inch of your body. You can get the picture. It was PACKED like sardines. I couldnt believe how many people were in that place. But all I cared about was getting as close as possible and just having fun. Because we were at a punk rock concert of course there were moshpits. Moshing is probably the craziest and most idiotic thing at rock concerts. Its just a bunch of guys and girls in a circle throwing their arms around violently. There were mosh pits at every corner. No matter how crazy the crowd was the band was amazing. They pumped up the crowd like no other. I had never felt so alive during and after a concert. Even though my body was in pain my mind was running wild. The singer talked a little about how music is always there for people and how many times it had saved any of us. Of course I yelled at the top of my lungs. Music has always been there for me when no one else was. Music is my best friend, my life, and my other half. It has always supported me and I will always support it back. I love music. And I love how amazing the last 3 days were. I had one down and 2 great ups. I realized that life isnt always going to be laughs and happiness. There will be downs and you just have to learn to keep moving forwards. Theres a solution to every problem. And the last 3 days made me realize that I have so many things to do in life. Im not stopping here. My breath was taken twice by amazing concerts. I can only imagine what else life has to offer.. Keep your heads up kids. Life is worth it. It will always be worth it.

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