The Last Hope

What they don't understand is that it's internal and no one can ever truly understand why it hurts so much. That a laugh and smile can only go so far but never truly heal the hole inside us. Nothing specific has to happen for it to ignite the flames that burn us from the inside out. It always lingers in the back with the fear that it might just return to destroy all the progress we've worked for. And sometimes it lets us live a life where we can be at peace with it. We can let life take control and let our emotions handle what comes our way. And there's other times where there is no control. There's no light at the end of the tunnel because in reality there is no tunnel. Just a place where everything hurts and nothing heals. We can call it depression or just an addiction to the darkness. But the suicide, it's not a selfish act it's just a gateway to our problems. We may leave the world scarred, we may leave family and friends ashamed, sad, or even hurt. But I've witnessed it all. Why people do what they do. Why they leave us with so many questions. But I've learned they leave us with a lesson. To realize that any day is our last and that we should appreciate everyone. Even if they make us laugh, but who makes them laugh? Who makes them laugh in the end? Who heals their pain and distraught of the world? 

This is to Rob Williams. Like everyone's post these past two days. Just know that  I know how you feel Rob. I may not know it all but I have an idea and it already hurts so much. You were such a talented man and I watched you grow older and more fragile. I am another one of your billions of fans writing about you. But just know I have you in my heart and prayers. Depression and suicide live close to all of us and we may not all see it. But it's an illness and I hope that now that you're resting you can watch out for the rest of us who struggle everyday. Depressed or not. You're an angel that God needed. To everyone else who may not understand, please try to. It's a mental illness, you can't see it and it's not contagious. But it's just as hard as having a physical disability. You're all gods miracle. He doesn't make any mistakes. R.I.P Rob Williams. And to everyone else who's passed from this. May god be with you all.